Too Much Swagger For The Dagger 😎

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sluttyoliveoil:

a legend

oneheartoverthemoon:

hailants:

sextingbarack:

I don’t care what anyone says, this was the best moment on TV ever.

this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

stil to this day this is one of my favorite things ever

(via sexcake)

sammy-got-pimped-for-pie:

In honor of back-to-school.

adamusprime:

did you know that “friends” stands for:

  • feebee
  • rachel
  • it’s joey
  • everyone is friends
  • nonica
  • dross
  • shandler

(via trust)

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

(via crystallized-teardrops)

colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

image

(via seedy)

thoughts of a goldfish

goldfish: nice rock
goldfish: nice rock
goldfish: nice rock
goldfish: nice rock
goldfish: The country’s economy and labor market remain in deep disrepair. Whereas our various post-market institutions (e.g., the safety net, educational institutions, health institutions) have a mixed record of coping with the rising poverty and inequality that has been handed to them by a still-struggling economy and labor market.
goldfish: nice rock

rememberrbuckybarnes:

tauriel2fab4u:

tauriel2fab4u:

IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT

I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES

I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE

LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE

image

DOESNT IT LOOK NICE

DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT

TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE

HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT

WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN

WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL

WHY

(via cyberdogs)

shinymaplesquid:

shinymaplesquid:

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

UPDATE:
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

image

(Source: pancakessexual, via seedy)

(Source: meanplastic, via fu-qlife)

(Source: cakejam, via fu-qlife)

fuegoking:

bitch

(via sexcake)

feferi-commander-of-booty-peixes:

flewor:

its a metaphor

jesus christ